I have something inside of me, right beneath the surface, just waiting to be freed. It isn’t a negative thing, but rather, an ingenious one. Every time it is released it feels as though a weight has been lifted from my conscious. From start to finish, the creative process feeds the beast.
It all begins with the urge to sit down and create a drawing. The phenomenon starts at the base of the neck, where the head connects to the shoulders. It feels kind of like if you were standing under a showerhead. The feeling of hundreds of drop sized poundings on your spinal cord. After this, the picture of what you’d like to draw begins to force its way through the haze of everyday life in my mind. When the mental traffic lights signal the “go ahead” you become overtaken with the need to find a conduit and release all that teems inside your skull.
Next you sprint to a workplace, desperately trying to let loose the beast that is struggling against the bonds that hold it. The desk you’ve chosen becomes a tempest as you search for the materials needed to bring your mental image to physicality. Gripping your pencil like Thor’s almighty hammer you commence your work. Slowly but surely, the noises of the outside world buckle under the potent weight of concentration. Time, also, strays from your thoughts as you pour hour after hour into your chosen piece of artwork before you get it done.
Finally, when the drawing is complete it is a feeling like no other. Your hand cracks like furrowed paper, but at the same time you feel a sense of pride like no other. Compounding this is the occasional passerby saying politely, “Nice drawing.” or, “I wish I could draw like that.” After absorbing just one of these comments makes you want to do a back flip, or merely appreciate the sleep you lost over it.
I am addicted to the artistic process involved when the beast comes a’ knocking. Everything from the first hair-raising feeling to the final feeling of completion keeps me wanting more. Even though this whole process feeds the beast, it truly is insatiable and the beast will need to be fed again sooner or later.